August 21, 2022
We all have past experiences we do not like, things we wish we did better, relationships we wish we handled better. A lot of people look at their past experiences with regret, grief, negativity and doubt. By doing so, they allow their past experiences define who they are and who they will become.
This should not be so. There is a positive way to view your past and take the right lessons from it. When you look at your past experiences this way, you will break negative repetitive cycles and unburden yourself of unnecessary baggage.
It is time to stop blaming yourself, everyone around you and the world for everything that happened in your past. Blaming yourself and the people involved will keep you stuck, sad and depressed. It does not help you move forward, it does not help you unburden yourself and it does not help with your healing process. Release all of those negativity from your life.
To view your past through an open lens, take an inquisitive approach to look at your past experiences. Keep in mind that you did not know as much as you know now, you are now an older, mature and a different version of that person. Ask yourself, “What happened?” “How can I perceive it differently?”
Do not create stories, judgment or feelings around it. Focus on the facts. An inquisitive approach will help you come to terms with your past experiences and help see the situation in light of what really happened.
There are lessons to take from every experience you have. Ask yourself, “What lessons have I gotten from this experience?” “What is the gift in this experience?” “What better choices can I make in similar situations?” These questions will help you focus on the positivity in the experience.
Now that you have looked at your past experiences with an inquisitive mind, detach yourself from the experience. This is where true healing and unburdening yourself of the guilt starts. You are not the experience, you are way more than it. Understand that everyone makes mistakes and release yourself from the experience.
It is time to focus on solutions and the way forward. You have not truly learned from your experiences if you cannot make better decisions moving forward. You need to apply the lessons you have learned from the experiences.
Seek counsel from those you hold in high esteem. If there is restitution that needs to be done, do it. The goal is to move forward, make the best out of your current situation and transform into a higher version of yourself.
Whatever your past experiences are, they can be a force for good in your life and the lives of others. Follow the steps above to take the right lessons from the experiences for a transformed life. I am rooting for you.